May
The world is a dangerous place but it need not be. If we were to give up judgment and forgive what we have judged, we could escape the return of our own judgment. Judgment stops the flow. It is an attempt to be right even if it is at our own expense. Judgment separates us and makes enemies of others, ourselves and God. Yet we think our judgment makes us better by making someone else less. We think judgment makes us better than those we have judged at least in our own mind. Rather than heal or let go of judgment we attempt to use it to “conquer” the world and separate from others. We judge what we consider our “bad parts” putting them out on the world as if it were real and not just our own dream. Yet we never escape the judgment we have made on another until we see them as us, God’s Child.
The extent to which you succeed this month is the extent to which you become aware of your judgment and change your mind about everyone especially yourself. The ego always proposes invasion and pre-emptive attack. You don’t realize you attack others with judgment before they can attack you or that it came from judgment on yourself. Judgment and the guilt that drives it keeps you stuck. It means you are listening to your ego as if it were your best friend and not an illusory part of you whose only meaning is embracing the idols outside yourself it hopes will complete and fulfill you. Your ego is your “answer” to how you will win and be happy in life. The ego is a part of you made through separation and a judgment that you could do it better than anyone. How has your ego done so far in making you happy? What could the ego know of wholeness, love and happy peace? It uses death to prove that it conquered God, the Principle of Life. It seeks to conquer you and others and God. It is the whisper in your ear that led to your doubt, defeat and destruction. Your death is the ego part of you proving it was dead right.
The month of May on the other hand is about life and birth. It is about birthing yourself into a truer, happier you. What comes up in May are the repercussions of old judgments. They are the labor pains that with awareness can lead to a birth. If you know you are in a birth process, you can focus yourself and be ready for it. If you try to back out you can founder. Let your love lead the way. It got you to this point; your love will get you that little bit further for your new beginning. Avoidance of the birth process will certainly lead to being dis-Mayed and missing all the that wants to blossom in your life. Have courage. Recognize that each birth you go through also helps those around you in a big way. It is helpful to see your pain whether physical or emotional as a ring of emotional fire around you. And that there is always someone who is suffering even more than you on the other side of the wall of fire. Will you let this ring of pain stop you or will you step through it to help the one or ones that need you. This will lead to a new level. If the emotion and situation doesn’t seem to change once you have done this, it means there may be a number of layers to go through for the shift up to a new level. You are being invited to a new beginning and it is now possible. Go through as many layers as necessary. It is simple and easy and it can heal the worst pain and problems. Help as many people as you are called to as shown by the pain still left for you to step through until a new and truer you has arrived. In this manner you help many people and restore yourself at the same time.
In May you are meant to emerge from the chrysalis stage where you have been cocooned in littleness. By investing in littleness you have sought idols outside yourself in a vain attempt to make yourself whole. What you have been looking for is inside you. You are what you have been looking for. Heaven is inside as the true you. Every gift and answer you need for happiness is inside you. Wholeness and peace are within. The abundance that is your wholeness brings the end of fear. And though abundance is within, you have at times invested in scarcity and fear and looked outside to find abundance and wholeness. You can take all of the selves within that are invested in scarcity, fear and littleness and let your higher mind marshal these selves over to the Bridge of Transformation. The separation and grievances that they represent will turn into gifts, archetypes and even miracles.
You can fearlessly go a-maying this month. Ask for easy births that move this transition time to a whole new level. Otherwise life can get stagnant just when it is meant to get rich. Where you have been careless in life you actually threw yourself away out of spite. Where you have been too careful you become heavy and small and that makes you sacrifice yourself and become lifeless. This is your defense that you use to cover up your belief in your unworthiness. You are meant to increase the amount you are carefree this month. This can only happen to the extent you partner with others and with Heaven. Let Heaven do the heavy lifting in your life. Actually let Heaven do all the lifting. What roles have you taken on that don’t belong to you? If you were to give yourself as you did what you were called to do, you would turn your giving into acts of bonding that helped everyone. What burdens have you been carrying that are meant for others? Give them back to Heaven or to whomever they belong to. Give them back as a blessing to you as you release and blessings to them in your giving. In this way you give up fusion. All of the fusion and deadness you experience are meant to delay you and make up for where you are wounded and lonely. It shows where you separated for your ego’s sake and its plan for dissociated independence. This only leads to sacrifice because you can’t receive and the more you sacrifice the more you have burnt out and lost heart. A life without heart is a life without truth or enjoyment. The happiness you thought you would find in idols outside yourself will only come from what you give. Sacrifice is doing but not giving yourself and so you live your life from roles, rules and duties. These are all compensations. These are the rules and supposed to’s that you live by that only hide old guilt and heartbreaks but set up to new ones.
The rules you live by you will seek to impose on others and you will do this in order to protect your long and oft buried pain. Yet rules are meant to be broken. You and others will break your rules and you will suffer as a result. Still when others break your rules and pain is released that was hidden, if you see it truly and turn to healing it can help you out of rigidity. It is principles that you are looking for instead of rules because they invite dialogue, joining and truth. Turn your rules into preferences and principles to save yourself a good deal of suffering.
Birth is a new beginning at a higher level. It is blessed change. And you can be the change you are looking for. In A Course in Miracles it states that you could save the whole world if you were to change your mind about yourself. Your journey in this life is the transformation of yourself to your Self. The more you achieve in this regard as you progress the happier you become. There is real joy on this path of healing and unlearning. If you can forgive and let go enough you can bring your perception to truth and take another step to the state of bliss that comes of eternal knowledge.
Take a look at where you are stuck in your life. It might be in your work, health or relationships. It might be in regard to money, sex, your partner or your children. It might be just a static aspect of your life in general. This shows a place where you are fighting yourself. Part of you wants a happy goal but subconsciously you are at odds with it. What you have hidden from yourself is stronger than what you consciously want. Other aspects that bring dark events shows there is something you feel guilty about from the past as well as something you are afraid of in your current situation if it changed for the better. A stuck place is where you believe your guilt is actually a sin and is unchangeable. And with a belief in sin you head for death. The ego’s agenda for you is defeat and death. Even if you don’t consciously believe in sin, if you are stuck somewhere in your life it still shows you believe in sin. If you are stuck ask who you have a grievance with and forgive them. Then forgive yourself for making them act out what you blame yourself for. Then forgive God because whether you know it or not, you are blaming God also. I’ve worked with people who didn’t believe in God but were still blaming God for things that God couldn’t have possibly done as the Divine Being. Anything you have ever held against anyone has given you a grievance with God also. Your forgiveness of God frees the world a few million people at a time. As a result you no longer treat God as an enemy and can finally allow for the miracle you need while having confidence that they will come.
Let May bring a blossoming to your life once more. If you are unhappy you have been valuing something more than the joyful abundance that can fill your life again. The war going on in the Ukraine reflects collective unconscious issues for everyone. Forgive it and yourself every time you think of it to transform the war into a birth for the earth.
Every night before you sleep imagine the day you want the next day. When you wake up once again see and feel what you want for the day. The mind is most safe from the ego’s thrall at these times. Give your mind over to Heaven. Open yourself to whatever gifts Heaven has for you. If you have anything that is not happy and brings you down, once again turn your mind over to your higher mind because your ego has brought its agenda into your mind. It has diverted your day and gotten in the way. You can clear this by taking a quiet moment to once again restate for yourself the kind of day you want. Let go of any judgment on yourself or others and put it all in God’s Hands because He is the One Who wants perfect happiness for you. Yet He won’t interfere if you choose another path other than happiness. He trusts you and knows that sooner or later you will seek the truth. Let Heaven bless you with all its joy. Give up the prison of your littleness and be the Child of God this month knowing you deserve every good thing.
Chuck Spezzano
Nightlight Newsletter
May 2022
Kaneohe, Hawaii