September 2025
September is a month of harvest. What has been planted in the winter is coming to bear fruit now. Yet there is still much to let go of to make way for the abundance that wants to come in for you.
September is a perfect month to let go of illusions, false investments, needs strangling you from the past, untrue loyalties and false goals. These all waste so much time and lock you into prisons of meaninglessness. We believe that something in our personal life will make us happy. Your personal life goes up and down. Your relationship goes up and down as a result of your whole life being built around your special relationship; which is in turn built around your specialness instead of your happiness and truth.
Specialness is the glamor you put around yourself, either negatively about what you’ve been through, or positively because of how you have succeeded against all odds. Your wounds and needs get put on your partner in the demands of a special relationship, where you see them as a way to make up for what you’ve missed. In this way you expect your partner to make up for all your past wounds and your needs from your past. This is really impossible and as a result, fights and withdrawal ensue.
The biggest pattern of the special relationship is the issue of independence-dependence, in which you compete for who is the independent one in charge. Once it is established who is the independent one, then the dependent one is used to support the independent’s way of doing things. While the independent one is in sacrifice, since they can’t fully receive and because they are carrying the dependent one, the dependent one is placed in a bigger sacrifice as they try to prove their worthiness to belong. The only thing that really works to change this pattern is commitment to balance and equality. Your equality with your partner shows your balance of the masculine and feminine within yourself.
If there is not balance inside you, you can never fully reach partnership with your partner. You are stuck in the dissociated masculine, which is deadness in life and relationships, but still full of hard work without the ability to receive. There is little intimacy, and success is pushed, forced and exhausting. Continuous commitment to equality is the answer. The first part is to reach 50-50 in equality in your relationship, and then to obtain higher levels of equality as you keep committing to it – until at the very least you get to over 100-100. At this point your intimacy begins supporting your success and life gets tremendously easier.
Your upsets, impatience, and anger are based on fear instead of trust. They are based on you having things your way. This is the biggest trap of the independent partner. They want things their way rather than Heaven’s Way. Once a relationship is balanced then you can address the problem of its being a special relationship. Look at your relationship…How many years have you spent trying to make yourself and your partner happy? How much have you succeeded? It is time to realize that your special relationship won’t work and has never really worked. Heaven has a solution. It is to let go of your special relationship, and to instead commit to a holy relationship. In this case you use everything in the relationship as a means of healing and wholeness.
This takes down the walls between you and your partner, bringing more intimacy and mutual satisfaction. It sees your partner as a Gateway to Heaven. It is the choice to put yourself under the direction of Heaven instead of your ego. It is inviting back a love relationship instead of a power relationship with your partner. If you don’t let go of your way and ask for direction from Heaven, you can be stuck like this for the rest of your life.
This month is a good month to upgrade your life and your relationship with truth. Invite it in. It waits on your welcome. It is a good month to discover truth in yourself and in your relationship. Simply let yourself choose truth instead. The ego would attack you. Let that go also. Self-attack is always there, so you can hold on rather than learn and change for the good. It is always present so you don’t hear the calls for help around you. Self-attack is a form of specialness.
It may seem a long step for your partner and yourself to relinquish the special relationship. One big benefit of a holy relationship is that you use every upset – whether yours or your partner’s – as just another lesson to learn in terms of healing, so upsets gradually lessen in the face of learning, unlearning and bringing bonding into situations where there was separation. You can do this in terms of all past relationships, even with your parents.
The first thing to do to transform your special relationship into a holy relationship, is to want the holy relationship with all of your heart. Every time you think of it, commit to it once more. Anything you fully want with your mind or heart becomes easy. Use everything that comes up for healing. If you use emotions for healing you won’t use them for tantrums. Emotions without the goal of healing become tantrums. Illness and injuries, failures and attempts to dominate or stay in a dominating position are all forms of tantrum. Any old emotions, such as hatred, heartbreaks or revenge, are all forms of tantrums.
To effectively let go of needs and emotions, you are called to let go of the past. The past doesn’t really exist any more, except as you keep it alive to try to make your partner atone for it. We are called to give up the past, but there are many addictions to past wounds and needs that show up in a relationship to keep it under the ego’s slavery. Whether you are the dominator or the subordinate, both roles keep you locked under the ego’s rule, and away from the love you are seeking. Some of these traps include competition, comparison, hatred, heartbreak, revenge, guilt, fear or any emotion. These are acts of specialness and tantrum, unless immediately used for healing, which is a natural part of the holy relationship. Otherwise, we are using emotions to complain when someone doesn’t meet our expectation. Everything that happens in a holy relationship is meant to be used for wholeness and peace. Other aspects of special relationships are winning, superiority, and being the good one, being the right one, and having it “your way.” These are big ego elements to let go of, but when you do there are even greater rewards. Still, the list goes on: the amount of willfulness and rebellion you have is what feeds your tantrums. What percentage would you guess that you have willfulness? These then are the tantrums which come about when you don’t get your way. Failure, revenge and heartbreaks are all forms of tantrum. Dissociated independence, sacrifice and victimization are all forms of tantrum.
The ironic thing is if you study the subconscious, you see that we set up every problem situation in order to break away; and have the independence that sets up further dissociation, heartbreaks, defeat and victimization. There is a choice to get out of this trap pattern within your choice for a holy relationship. Basically, in order to have a holy relationship you are being asked to let go of the past, or you will attempt to heal the past by trying to get your partner to meet your needs; yet this will never be enough to meet your needs. It is trying to remake the past, and it won’t succeed because that can only be done in the present healing of the holy relationship. And this starts by letting the past go.
It took you a whole lifetime to build the special relationship. Be patient with yourself now in building a holy relationship. Ask for Inner Guidance and Divine Help to show you the way through, and keep you strong in the transition.
You can’t have a balanced relationship without a balanced self, and for this you need equality within your mind between your masculine and feminine. Commit to that balance until there is only a 50-50 relationship balance inside and out. Don’t stop until your equality is over 100 percent. This means that if there is equality, it is at a high standard for both you and your partner.
A woman is the natural leader in the relationship, but left to her ego’s demands for specialness, she will control everything and do everything her way. This indulgence has a way of putting the man beneath her, with no or little attraction toward him, so they both lose. If you are having things your way, it is difficult to give that up even for the truth of equality. Yet, there is a way that works after you have achieved 50-50 in relationship.
This next part is always based on equality together. But from equality there can be the 51-49 level in relationships, where the man can have the 51 in the relationship, so the woman can relax into him and feel safe, finding him attractive and admirable once more. This goes beyond equality, recognizing that equality is the key success principle in relationships, because 51-49 also allows real comfort without anyone having to be truly subordinate. It empowers both in their worth, and it tames the insanity that is sometimes used as a weapon against each other.
The theme of restoring yourself to a spiritual path, rather than one that is the everyday life of “Norman or Norma Normal” comes from the holy relationship. Heaven believes in your greatness. This should prove a strong enough support to go beyond the littleness of a personal life and its shrinkage. You will still have a personal life, but it is secondary to your spiritual life. But now your personal life doesn’t limit and consume you.
In your spiritual life you recognize your connection to Heaven. You typically forget your connection to Heaven, and your identity as a spiritual being, in the obsession of a special relationship and your own specialness. When you have restored yourself to the realization that you are a spiritual being, a Child of God, you treat yourself accordingly- with all the respect and security due you as God’s Child.
Think of September as a month of letting go and receiving. As you let go of your attachments, bonding, love and abundance shine through as what you really deserve and can have. Concentrate on what you really want, from the time you get up in the morning, throughout the day, and as you retire.
September is a transition month, and much could be accomplished in a transition month to save time, and complete healing processes that have been going on for months or even years. September is a month of completion leading, to Great Good Fortune. Take advantage of this month to choose truly. What is it that is untrue that can be let go of this month? Your attachments block your treasure, which is your connection to God and your home in Heaven. What do you really want?
Chuck Spezzano
Nightlight Newsletter
September 2025
Kahuku, Hawaii
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